So I had my bachelorette party on Saturday. Brenna had made plans to go to some man club in Hollywood, and she decorated her house all pretty with pictures of my ex-boyfriends and stuff. However, I didn't make it to the club. After a penis-shaped jello shot and a few drinks later I was puking in a gas station bathroom, in the bushes, and in the planter outside Brenna's apartment building. Naturally, I thought I was close to death, and the only thoughts that were circling through my mind were:
1. I feel so bad that Brenna wasted time and money on this.
2. I am so pathetic.
3. I really should just get married because I am not cut out for the bar-hopping, penis jello shot-swilling single life.
So, here I am. I've apologized. I've thrown up (more than my share) and I've repented. It seems like I'm always the first with these kind of things, and I always have to screw it up some way. All I can hope is that people will learn from my mistakes.
On the other hand, I am a good 91% sure that I want to marry James. He has always been there for me, and is unconditionally devoted. Of course, I've had doubts. I've struggled with awful inner conflicts for the better part of the last year, but I've survived. For those of you who know me, I don't make committments easily. But in front of all those people on my wedding day: I will promise. What better way to show everyone who has doubted me? What better way to shove it in their face, that I will take the high road? That I will be stronger than the Katie they know to be weak?
Thoughts for today:
On love: When you don't clean the kitchen floor at least every 2 months, and it starts to mold like Parkside...
You know you're still a frat boy.
On frat boys: God, should've experienced more of that.
On experience: I had enough in high school. But there's really nothing like Dave Matthews and premature ejaculation.
On high school: My bachelorette party is this weekend. Some of my high school friends, the Secret 8, are going to a slut-interactive banana hammock show. As if buff men with crotchless elephant panties is what I'll be missing by getting married.
On marriage: Ex-boyfriends no longer return my Facebook messages. While it may be because I am generally bitter and resentful, I think this time it's them.
On you: You're pretty with your blue eyes, and you're devoted. Can't I have some cash to buy new shoes?
On you: You're "estranged." Funny way to put it. I've managed to stay away for a while, yet a few nights ago, I really enjoyed that dream.
Someday, when it's too close to call.
On me: I don't have morals, but I have haiku...
Can't have it and eat it too
Caught in the closet
Yes, I have a life. NO, just kidding. Finals went okay. Hopefully I'll get a few A's to knock off that C+ I got on my internship. I'm applying for a job at The Tribune copy desk, you know, to proofread all the articles. I'd like to get the interview done by this week so I can finally go home and be even more bored.
There is absolutely nothing to do in SLO. At least in Santa Clarita I can go shopping and spend all the money I don't have. But if I get this job, it MAY be paid. I'll be going up to Ukiah after Christmas to visit James' parents. Maybe we'll go to the nudist resort again!
I have to think of something to do for my senior project, but I want to worry about getting a job first for winter quarter. After all, I need money more than a good grade for the 3-unit senior project. After winter, all I have is two electives to take and I'm done!!!! Let's celebrate!
My roommate (not my sister) put up this giant Christmas tree in our house with presents and ornaments so we have to watch TV from an angle now. Plus, she hasn't paid me for this month's cable. She just graduated, but will not be moving out because she wants to waste her life away working at Gottshalks in SLO. I mean, what is a college degree good for nowadays anyway!
DAmn, this sucks. It's nice to be able to sleep in, but it gets old after awhile. I should probably just appreciate it because I'll never get these long breaks once I'm in the real world. But, have a nice day everyone! I hope I wasted a few minutes of your similarly boring day!
Sadly, I am now addicted to Facebook. I've neglected you, Live Journal. I am deeply sorry.
Today I went shopping amongst the freaks of Santa Clarita. Luckily, Brenna and I didn't run into any high school friends except for the tomboy that used to flip up my skirt in junior high and call me a slut. Good times, good times.
Wednesday, we all went to BJ's. Mistake! It was Hart High 01 class reunion. Luckily, I was quite a bit tipsy and didn't feel nearly as stupid as I did four years ago. And Scotty was there! It was exciting to see a friendly SLO face from back home. He was with his high school friends too!
Anyhow, I shall be back Monday *after Brenna's 21st b-day where we go to Peachland Elementary and smoke cloves and drink* like old times. Some things never change.
So I'm still here. It's Sunday, and it sucks. This weekend should be fun, with Cody's 21st and a possible D Chi date party. O, yeah...
I got a giant insect bite on my eyelid and it's all swollen today. I called in sick to work (my second-to-last day). My eye looks like James' did after he got beat up at Mardi Gras! I wore sunglasses inside today so no one would think I had an abusive boyfriend.
Although, when I woke up last night itching to death, James told me that I was "depressing him," and yelled to turn out the light. At least JT was there to give me anti-itch medicine.
So I'm still here. I gotta think of what to do for my senior project. I want to do a website of something, but it has to be related to Journalism. Any ideas?
I used to think in that "locked up" song, they were saying "doctor..." But that doesn't really make sense.
I propose a toast--
To the people that I can count on...to be more fucked up than me.
Everyone, hold your glass up high--
For the people who I love just the way they are: the ultra-liberal Femme-Nazis, the war-loving patriots, the unmotivated, unattached and misunderstood.
HERE'S TO YOU!
The beef is back. You know who I am. Why is everyone so cool? Screw you for being who you are. The cows are coming home.
I'm expecting a bitter tirade from Caitlin soon...
So I'm glad Kerry conceded. It's the dignified thing to do. Rather than pessimisticly look into the future, we can only hope that Bush will be more "centrist" in his second term. Hey, if more than half of the country voted for him (albeit trailer trash and hunters), we can safely assume there is a God, and that he is Republican.
'Tis better to be an analyst than a believer.
Listen to P. Diddy...VOTE OR DIE!
(and if you think about it, it kinda is true-considering you might be drafted if we dont get out of iraq)
JUST a friendly reminder from your nice-assed friends!
Parkside may be throwing a Halloween party. Check with the roommates before you plan your fun. Thanks for responding to my question, both of you. So Mike, you may be able to hang out with us "cool people."